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My family isn’t normal.

 

Sure, neither is mine! you say. Yes, truly, no one’s family is “normal”. Let me clarify.

 

My family bars no holds. My family pulls no punches. My family would rather forcibly inject caustic, unflattering veracity into your unwilling psyche, molecule after tear-stained molecule, rather than offer one spoonful of comfortable lies. There are no half-truths, no sugar-coatings, no sensitive topic avoidance. As I once remarked to an ex-boyfriend, “your family may be passive aggressive, mine is just plain aggressive.”

 

My mom, JD, is the scion of this lifestyle and parenting method. If you’ve come here looking for advice or encouragement on treating your child, let me tell you: this is what you need.  

 

You need to be told, in as direct and forward a manner as possible, what it is you’re fighting. You need to be reminded, in complete candor, what you’re fighting FOR. You need to be shown that recovery is possible, when guided by someone unafraid of ugliness, harsh lighting, and painful struggle.

 

My siblings and I were raised to believe in ourselves, in our strength, in our independence and our worthiness. We were taught to question everything, to trust in our own minds and our own hearts before outside influences. We were encouraged to think critically, to spread our wings, to make mistakes and LEARN from them. Yet we knew that if we failed to thrive on our own, our mom would teach us again.

 

This may be where you are in your family’s journey. I’ve learned from my mom and sister that a recovery expedition can take a multitude of twists and unexpected, hairpin turns. It’s not for the faint of heart, and it’s not for the coddlers or confrontation-avoiders either. It may feel like you’re living with a monster, who has taken the place of your child. My mom is a grade-A monster hunter.

 

I am a mom, too. My son is not yet four, and I know that ahead of him lie obstacles and hurdles and pits with sharp stakes at the bottom. My goal is to teach him to pass these barriers on his own, to succeed at beating life into submission without assistance from me. If he should stumble, he’ll learn to get up. If he falls… well, I learned from the best. We are a family of monster hunters.

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Brittany Ebrom

CA, Daughter